Dearest Jesus, I have forsaken everything to follow You, including my hobbies, so that my eyes are only set upon You alone. I have no friends in the world and even those whom I called my own had denied me. I do not have any words, dreams and visions from You, but instead of feeling rejected, although knowing that You are with me until the end of my journey here. I have always been in solitude, but it is the childlike faith I believe You are training me. I feel useless in world’s view, because I am full-time disabled, but You have reminded that I have a purpose in You, it is using my weakness, the reliance of my disability, to the reliance on You. I am no one in this world, but You Lord Jesus had found a purpose in me through this, for having lost everything thrice, I have found You again and again.
Thank you Jesus for knowing me intimately. I only think about You throughout the day, never let a moment without You. I remember feeling eternally forsaken when I was rejected at school all the years and I always have been rejected outside of this also, but in this, I have found You through the storms and tribulations. I complain not as to why You have allowed the bad things happened to me, but instead, I am grateful and honoured to face all the trials, just to be closer to You again and again. In early childhood, I was already traumatized. I was born very traumatized and each day the pain had amplified exponentially for no reason. Instead of running away from You, in my pain I have found You. You then told me that there is a purpose in me that I could not see, that You told me that it is because I feel very insignificant, it is that You can use me to further Your kingdom. You then told me that I am unique in who I was created to be by You, just as everyone around me are unique and special in Your eyes, please Lord, save more who have not found You yet.